Well Easter has been and gone and a large amount of food has been eaten!
It was my first easter working at a church and it was weird! in a way it was easter to focus on the season and the importance of Jesus and his death and resurrection. Mostly because i was leading a whole bunch of services and i was thinking about how to help the visitors and regulars feel the horror of the cross and the joy of the resurrection.
But in another way it felt harder to get into the spirit! I was working, there wasnt time to sit back and meditate on the easter story, the empty tomb and the reality of salvation achieved and death defeated. I missed kneeling at communion and taking the symbols of Jesus body and blood, i was serving it!
I am feeling more at home at church which is great, i spent some fun times with new friends this weekend but its hard to know how to be a minister and a friend. I think i sometimes talk about stuff i shouldnt, mainly because there is noone else to debrief with and be free with. I really need to watch it and work hard at being appropriate. I am these peoples minister, yes their friend too, but I have pastoral responsibility!
I am seeing how life goes on, there are people i bump up against and get irritated by and there are people i click with. There is admin to do and plans to be made. I miss the discipline of college and I miss preaching, writing a sermon, opening the Bible with people in an upfront way. I struggle with using my time well and keeping ministry to 3 days (as if that was ever going to happen!)
But I love Bible Study and chatting to almost christians and thinking about how to help non-christians love God and commit themselves to him. I am constantly aware of the christian ghetto i have been in for the last 3 years.
Well I am feeling very reflective and melancholic today...I desperately need to go the gym but i have a kids talk to write...cos i love them :(
In other news I worked yesterday doing personal care for the elderly. I visited a few clients i dont normally see. There were ALOT of showers. Getting old is so hard. These wonderful women who have lived full lives now need me to come and help them wash their backs and make sure they dont fall. One lady had had a stroke and it made mobility hard. I think these visits let me be like christ to them. Even if i dont get to speak to them about Jesus I can serve them and love them, treat them with respect, listen to them and help them feel comfortable about a very disempowering experience.
